By Mim Robson | Artwork by Simon Hetherington
I can’t get a moment’s peace. One day the other week everyone I met on my street was bleary eyed because we had all been kept awake through the night by relentless, high-volume, 3am seagull squawking. I wondered if it because it was close to midsummer and the nights are light, perhaps the birds are confused. Somebody else told me it is something to do with them having chicks at the moment. Whatever the reason, I was beginning to feel somewhat more accepting of this temporary inconvenience until this week when I was walking down Alma Place and a massive seagull dive-bombed at me three times. The first time I just thought it didn’t have great personal space awareness, the second time I realised it was coming at me and I was alarmed, the third time terror overcame me and I turned round and ran away until it stopped chasing after me. I’ve been told that I probably walked too close to a nest. But how do we know where the nests are? The seagulls are everywhere.
Until recently I’ve stated my opinion that seagulls have different levels of politeness in different areas of the country, and that the North Shields seagulls are relatively polite. I based this on my many seagull observations and the fact that a seagull in St Ives stole a whole piece of ham from my sandwich once. Nothing like that has happened to me in North Shields. But since the Alma Place incident every time I hear one squawk I shudder. I am haunted. I feel hunted. I need to know when this will end.
And I’m not alone:
“A seagull once stole my very expensive ice cream – cone and all. I then watched it drop it. So neither of us had ice cream” – Eve
“They are brutal. One bit my thumb” – Olly
“A seagull landed on my boyfriend’s head the other day and stole a sausage sandwich directly from his hands” – Ellen
“I had to eat an ice cream facing a wall in Scarborough once so the seagulls wouldn’t get it” – Ali
“A seagull stole my son’s churro when he was 5 and he still talks about it. It’s been 5 years.” – Stephen
“a seagull stole my crisps from my bag whilst I was lying on the beach and then 20 more seagulls came and had a fight over the crisps” – Ruth
“We took some visitors to the Fish Quay and watched a large seagull pick up a rat with it’s beak and then drop it” – Liv & Gav
Got any seagull redemption stories? Feeling a bit
sorry for them even though they are terrifying?
Got some advice for those amongst us who’ve had
their food/confidence/dignity stolen by a seagull?
Get in touch at [email protected]
