Men’s mental health is commonly ignored; we’re not expected to talk about how we might be feeling down, depressed, angry or fearful and instead we’re expected to brush ourselves down and get on with it.
But things are changing and it’s men like Leslie Forman who are driving that change.
We met in the middle of North Shields, in the new Thomas Brown Square, to talk about his struggles with his own mental health and how he uses his creativity to cope.
Leslie was clear from the outset that he wanted it to be a candid no-holds-barred, all cards on the table, heart on both sleeves chat – and, my goodness, it was all that and more.
Maybe it was the open air setting, with families and shoppers walking by, that made us feel more exposed about the subject matter than we normally would but we both came away from our meeting feeling exhilarated.
Leslie – Lez – is born and bred North Shields; his father, a merchant seaman, was away at sea a lot and he, his older brother and younger sister were brought up by his mother and other family members. He grew up in Meadowell, during the 80s when times were hard. Like a lot of families, talking about emotions and mental health was and still is off the agenda for some reason and the narrative needs changing.
He says, ‘Imagination was my escapism. I was bullied heavily and I literally hid myself away in the Meadowell library for 3 years. But it was one of the best things I’ve done.’ He tells me that when things start to get tough for him, he still goes back there in his mind.
Lez is a talented self taught sketch and mosaic artist. His fascination for mosaics began when he was at school and attended a workshop hosted by Maureen Black who is responsible for the FishScape mosaic on the bank near to the High Lighthouse above the Fish Quay.
Since then, he has tinkered with drawing and mosaic artistry and tells me he finds it another source of escapism and meditation in which he can lose himself for hours.
He was delighted when he managed to sell a piece of his art to the Collingwood Surgery – it’s a mosaic of the Fish Quay and if you’ve been there waiting in reception, you’ll have probably seen it yourself, sitting there high on the wall. However, his hobby was just that and at that time he had no real plans to make a full time business of it and tells me that he didn’t, at that time, have the confidence to make the leap of faith required.
He has held various jobs over the years – from printer to podium dancer (yes, you read that right!) but remembers fondly his time at SG Fruiterers, a well liked greengrocer’s in town. It was here that he met Olive Martin who, he says, became an inspirational figure in his life.
When he starts to tell me about her, he has to stop and steady himself from becoming too emotional. I ask how they met;
‘She came into the shop one day and asked for the plant man – that’s how I was known in Shields – and said will you do my gardening for me?’
He obliged and over the years they became firm friends. He became her carer and visited her regularly each week, helping her out and running errands. He loved the feeling of stability this brought him.
But his world fell apart when, in the space of two weeks at the beginning of 2022, he lost his job and, aged 103, Olive passed away. He still bitterly regrets he wasn’t able to be there when she died. At this point, I notice him subconsciously pull out and kiss a medallion on a necklace – when I mention this to him, he says Olive gave it to him on her hundredth birthday and he wears it all the time. He was devastated and aware that his mental health might spiral downward he decided to open a business selling his art which proved hard work, especially as he had little experience or support. Unfortunately his efforts came to a full stop when he caught covid – he was affected quite badly and began to feel isolated. As he began to recover from the effects of covid, he entered a relationship which he says was great at first. But he realises now that he missed the red flags that often signify a controlling and coercive toxic relationship. He was being isolated from his friends and felt suffocated by it.
‘Something snapped and all of a sudden I was staring down into the void at The Spanish Battery. I’m only here now because I forgot to turn my phone off and my friend Rob called asking where I was.’ He ended up staying with Rob for the next three months and slowly but surely emerged from the dark place he had found himself. Since then it’s been an upward trajectory for Leslie. He joined the superb charity Support and Grow in Shiremoor and did some voluntary work before being asked to work for them. He’s still there now and enjoying every moment – he’s extremely grateful to his boss and CEO, Louise Jones for giving him that chance and helping him get back on his feet. He has been able to piece together his mind, just like he pieces together his mosaics. Lez has grown in confidence since then to the extent that has set up a couple of men’s mental health groups which have become popular – GENTS and NEBS (NEBS with Earl Charlton. They’re already making a difference – he recounts a story where a woman, who had seen his group on Facebook, contacted him out of the blue desperately worried about her brother who was in crisis feeling depressed and suicidal and asked Lez to speak to him.
Lez took the time to call him and chat with him and ended up quite possibly saving his life. He has made sure that he has kept in touch.
His real ambition, though, is to set up his own social enterprise combining mental health and mosaics to help local people. He tells me about a recent conversation he had with his boss, Louise, who said to him that Olive would have been proud of what he was doing and where he was going. Later that day, his sister, without knowledge of that conversation and who is an amateur clairvoyant, called him to say she had received a message from Olive who wanted to tell Lez how proud of him she was. It doesn’t matter whether you believe that or not – it’s the impact it had on Lez and continues to have that matters.
In turn, Lez’s journey is starting to have an impact on the community and is still gathering pace. In addition to the walking groups he has set up, Lez recently gave a mental health awareness chat at The Little Hub Community and has recently decided to take part in a charity challenge trek to Mount Toubkal in Morocco to raise money for North Tyneside YMCA this coming October.
With help, Lez has pulled himself up by his bootstraps and wants to help others do the same, through his work with various organisations and charities and hopes that he can go even further by setting up his own social enterprise making mosaics and supporting those with mental health issues.
He’s already got a name for it – The Olive Branch.
I tell him that’s a fantastic tribute to the woman who inspired him so much. He replies ‘I don’t want to ever give up on my town, I love this town, man.’
Check out his mosaic art here
TikTok@lezformanmosaics
Check out his men’s health groups here
www.facebook.com/groups/747580720509802/
